This page is best viewed with Internet Explorer Browsers at a resolution of 1024 X 768My "Test"-i-mony!Evangelist Louella M. Stuart
![]() I was so unhappy. Worse yet I had a lot of anger and hatred within me. So much anger that I would blow up every now and then. I was like a walking time bomb, ready to go off at any second. The anger started when I was a young girl. A family member was sexually molesting me, which caused me to feel "dirty" and hate myself. He told me never to tell anyone so I kept it bottled up inside of me. So a lot of the things I would do later in life was the result of the sexual molestation which would actually continue into my adult life. Then to make matters worse I got pregnant when I was 18 and then I decided to get married, against my own better judgment. I was warned not to hook up with that man but I just thought that people didn't want me to be happy. This was the first of 3 bad marriages, and I would end up with 6 boys. I really struggled to do the best I could to raise them but Once they got in their teens they lost all love and respect for me. I had so many issues but the biggest problem I had was the deep sadness and emptiness I felt inside of me. ![]() I knew about God. My grandmother used to make us kids go to church every Sunday. It was a Catholic Church, but when my grandparents died I stopped going to church. I remember going to a Christian Church later in life with my boys and things were going so well in my life, but when I stopped going to church things got bad all over again. I pretty much gave up on the idea of knowing what true love was. That was until I got on the internet one day and met that crazy pastor from New York. I don't know what I was thinking. Maybe I was just looking for a good man to settle down with. Anyway he told me that God had a purpose in my life. I was angry with God. Where was he when I was being touched? Where was he when I was being beaten and abused by my husbands? Rev. Jesus Ramos Jr. "Pastor Jay" explained to me later on that even though a rose is beautiful it still has to go through dirt. In a way that made sense but when Pastor Jay told me that I was an evangelist I thought he was crazy. Then when he told me I would be moving to New York I really thought he flipped, but he would tell me things about myself that nobody could have told him, and that frightened me. ![]() I had a lot of trouble trusting people, but Pastor Jay told me that I was eventually going to have to trust somebody sometime and we became friends. That Pastor never stopped talking about Jesus. I wondered what was with that guy. Didn't he talk about anything else? It's funny but now that I look back I can see if it wasn't for him (God using him) I would never have understood that it was God that was trying to reach me. To make a long story short Pastor Jay calls me after about 1 1/2 years of friendship and tells me the apartment downstairs from him was empty and asked me if I wanted to come to New York. I just wanted to get away from Missouri and all the drama and I made up my mind to go even though people warned me that I would end up coming right back to Missouri. I got my stuff all packed into a U-haul and on Thanksgiving day of 2006 Pastor Jay flew down to drive the U-haul to Schenectady New York. That same day I gave up all my habits and left them in Missouri. ![]() Over the next 2 years I would learn the real meaning of love and I would learn about the bible like I never heard it before. I found out there are people in this world that are for real, and that if I really wanted to I could live for God. I made the choice to serve God with all of my heart because One person took the time to care about me. He's my Pastor and I call him Dad even though he's a year younger than me. I have learned how to wait on God, and even though I feel lonely sometimes I'm going to wait for a Godly man that puts God first. I've always been a follower and I always depended on other people to do things for me. Now I'm independent and I'm learning how to be a leader by being a servant. I know God has great things in store for me and I want everything God has for me. God bless you and Shalom! P.O.W.E.R. On-line Network
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