You know who I am
I just wanted to take this time to extend a token of my gratitude for your many years of faithful service to me. You know who I am. I'm your Addiction. I remember in the beginning how you tried to resist me but I'm so irresistible you just had to have me. I appear in many forms as you may well know and I'm called by many names. There's a book out there written by my enemy Jesus Christ that doesn't have anything nice to say about me. He calls me by such names as covetousness and lust, and honestly that really hurts my feelings. I'm not so bad once you get to know me. As much as you have loved me all this time I was wondering why you decided to try to walk away from me. Don't you love me anymore? Or maybe I hurt your feelings. In that case I'm sorry and I just want us to be friends again.
Don't you miss all the good times we had together? Even though you still might sneak around a bit, I deserve more of your time. Hey, don't take it out on me for the times you lost control. Nobody forced me upon you. When you picked up that first cigarette or that first drink or when you took your first drug, you already knew what the consequences could be. Didn't your mama warn you? What were you thinking? So when you hit rock-bottom I felt for you but its in my nature to make your life a living hell. You see, my master satan doesn't have a lot of time left on the earth. He just wants to invite all of us to a big barbecue at his place. We'll have music and fun and games and all of my friends will be there. That other guy, Jesus, just wants to spoil all of our fun. He's such a party pooper.
So come on back to me. We can have so much fun fornicating while watching pornography. We can get high like we used to, why would you want to give all that up? How about the eating binges? Then you would vomit just to eat more. How about the times you got so stoned you wouldn't even remember how you got home? That was hilarious, so don't take it personal. Its just that you were so gullible. You know better now so you don't have to overdo it. Just a little bit here and there. You don't have to tell anybody. I won't tell if you don't tell. I promise. Cross my heart and hope you die. Ha ha ha, do you really think I care so much about you? There is so much new blood to feast upon. These kids nowadays won't even know what hit them. They don't even have to go out to buy drugs anymore. All they have to do is open the medicine cabinets. I have a lot of new weapons in my arsenal. The internet opens up a new realm of possibilities. I get goosebumps just thinking about it. I have so many people working for me now we'll have so much fun whipping the new recruits into shape.
So if you don't decide to come back to me I won't cry for you. Just don't tell my enemy Jesus Christ that we had this little chat. Don't tell your Pastor or any of the other Jesus freaks. All I need now is for them to start praying and make my job more difficult than it already is. Don't tell your old friends either. They are better off with me than with that Jesus character. I have so much more to offer them, and whatever you do, don't keep reading from that book that speaks so negatively about me. I have a reputation to protect. Please, please, don't share your faith with your old friends. Anytime Jesus gets involved I lose so many potential slaves. Uh oh, I better get going now. I see Jesus headed in my direction. I better go while I still can. Anyway thanks for the chat. I'll come around later on with my friends temptation and sin. Maybe if we keep bugging you, we might convince you to have a change of heart. The chains and the shackles are not so heavy once you get used to them. The yoke of bondage is not so bad either. I have them right here with me just in case you decide to put them back on. It can be just like old times, you know who I am!
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